Lesbians and the Law

Women's needs and concerns are obviously different than men's, and it follows that the legal needs of lesbians differ in some key respects from those of our gay brethren. Here are a few key areas that the legal differences play a key role.

Child Custody: A multitude of legal issues arise around obtaining and maintaining custody of our children following the dissolution of a heterosexual relationship. Fortunately, depending on the state you're in, being a lesbian in does not mean that you are a per se unfit parent (thank heaven for small wonders). Still, lengthy court battles are continuously waged by angry and bigoted people who believe our affection choices impact our child rearing abilities. We'll discuss how and when to come out to your former husband and your children in a way that best protects you emotionally and legally, and some strategies for the custody battles that may follow.

Workplace Harassment: Far too often, women are forced deal with discrimination in the workplace just because of our gender expression. We'll look at what protections are available on the local, state and federal level and where to turn for help.

Lesbian Parenting: In great numbers, women are asserting their reproductive rights and need to understand the legal mechanics and implications of the "gay baby" boom. We'll learn about adoption as well as alternative insemination. There are two sets of relationships that we'll discuss here.

The first is between the biological mom and the sperm donor. We'll debate using a known versus an unknown donor, what the responsibilities of the parties should be, and how they can be reduced to writing.

The second relationship at issue arises between the biological mom and the non-biological (or, some prefer, psychological) mom. What happens if the biological mom becomes incapacitated or dies, or if the couple breaks up? Once again we here become victims of our invisibility in the eyes of the law. Such disputes can become highly controversial because the non-bio mom is seen as a "legal stranger" to the child. We'll discuss your options and look at some recent case law (and report on some very good and very bad news).

Health Care: Lesbians are facing the ramifications of women's unique health issues, including our heightened risk of getting breast cancer. Access to health care is a perennial issue that has only recently begun to get air time in mainstream gay publications, resulting, in part, from a general reluctance to confront issues surrounding race and class. Understanding issues affecting lower- income individuals is crucial to serving the lesbian community.

We'll examine the statistics and what is being done to shift the tide.

Documenting Our Relationships: protecting ourselves and our loved ones to the greatest extent possible under the law. There are over 1,000 rights associated with civil marriage, and about a dozen crucial ones that we can claim for ourselves through effective estate planning and contracts. We'll learn about co-habitation agreements, domestic partner agreements and a variety of estate planning tools which can be used to make sure you are protected effectively. Lesbians, especially, need to protect themselves against a sexist and homophobic system.

Case Law Updates: keeping current on legal developments impacting our rights in a variety of areas. All of these issues are fairly new to our largely homophobic legal system. There are, however, occasional signs from the bench giving us hope that we might not be as far from achieving equality as we fear. Unfortunately, we also suffer frequent setbacks about which we also must be aware. We'll provide summaries of what these cases are telling us: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Genderalities

Because language is so important, it should be noted at the outset that the term lesbian is merely shorthand to refer to women who love women and face a host of consequences as a result. Personally, I prefer "dyke" as an inclusive term referring to lesbians as well as women who self-identify as bisexual, just as the term "queer" best covers all aspects of our gender non-conforming community.

Unfortunately, many are uncomfortable with reclaiming words so often used pejoratively and homophobically. Therefore, we'll stick to ol’ faithful.

Women living in our thriving American patriarchy perpetually tackle the sense of "Otherness." Taking the concept of otherness a step further is our fierce transgendered community, which brings other legal issues all together.

Originally published in the Gay Financial Network on August 3, 1998..